sreda, 6. februar 2019

Stop being ungrateful

Imagine this scenario:

Your family member, or your boyfriend/husband, girlfriend/wife, friend.. is on a long drive in a car with three other people. You get the news that they had an accident. They tell you that one/two/three people died.

What would your thought process be?

Probably something like this: omg, please, please, PLEASE!! don't let it be him/her!! Please be alive! Please, make it! I will crumble if anything happens to her/him! I will die! PLEASE!! I don't want to go through this! Plus you would be shaking, you would feel like throwing up, you wouldn't be able to sleep, eat, move, work, breathe, do ANYTHING until you got the news.

And then imagine the feeling you would feel if you found out, that your precious person died.

Everything would become so meaningless, nothing else would matter. Would you at this point care about the fact that your boyfriend left socks on the floor? Or forgot to buy bread? Would this shit matter? Is it worth it that you almost rip the head off of someone you care about because you are stressed about something else, your job, kids....?

Or because it's not about that current thing, for example, he didn't wash the dishes, and it's really about something he did 6 years ago? Or it's about the fact that he doesn't hug or kiss you. Is it okay to insult that person because something didn't go according to your plans? Because the world doesn't revolve around you? And you forgot that EVERYONE has feelings, needs, problems, stress. And just like you need to feel respected, so does that other person need to feel respected.

And then imagine the scenario that you get the news that your person made it, she/he is alive. How happy would you be? How relieved would you feel? You would feel like you just got blessed with another opportunity, a second chance. 

But what happens most of the time?

This feeling rubs off. It slowly disappears, the minutiae of life makes you forget this feeling of gratefulness. The boss is annoying again, customers are angry creatures, money is tight, you feel fat, you don't feel connected to yourself and your spouse... it's gone, the feeling is gone, let's go back to feeling and acting angry.

Honestly, this makes my blood boil. I see it too often. I hate it.

What is your problem?!? What are you doing?! You are screwing up your life. Do you realize this?? You need a REALITY CHECK!

I almost always have this kind of scenarios in my mind. The only thing that I fear (well besides driving, traffic, transport, deep water, and heights=) ) is losing someone I care about. All I want is for those people to be safe and happy.

I worked really HARD to get to this place of happiness, gratefulness, peace and because of this I really can't stomach it when someone is ungrateful and complains all the time, and speaks unkindly to people. REALLY HARD.  And I get it, I've been there, but I'm not anymore and because of that I can't think the way I thought before.

I'm grown, I evolved, I matured. I can't go back.

Be grateful. Be respectful. Be kind, yes be kind! That overused phrase has a lot of meaning. Be calm. Speak with respect. Be gracious. Be pleasant. No one will want to be your friend, or your girlfriend/wife, boyfriend/husband if you don't make them feel good.

Just like Maya Angelou said: ''I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'' It's true. I don't want to be around people who don't make me feel good. Or around people who don't respect me, appreciate me and take me for granted. I don't need that. I know what I deserve and I am not afraid to leave this kind of people behind. If you don't treat people with respect, you will LOSE good people that are worth having around, because they will NOT put up with it.

I won't miss you, I will only enjoy the peace your absence gave me.

So no, I won't hang out with people who gossip, complain but don't do anything about it, who are jealous, are negative. All this is childish to me. Grown people shouldn't behave like this.

And please don't get me wrong. Feeling upset because you feel disconnected from your partner is a VALID feeling. But then do something about it. Have an adult conversation with him. Tell him how you feel, without insulting him, without screaming and judging. Listen to his reasons for his actions. Or write him a letter/email, let it all out. Maybe you two can work it out. And maybe you can't and you have to go your separate ways. That's okay. It's not the end of the world. Read this post about healing yourself after a break up: HOW TO HEAL YOURSELF AFTER A BREAKUP?

Everything can resolve in one way or another, just do something about it. Don't just complain, yell and spread negativity.

Feeling stressed out because of your job is a VALID feeling. Make a plan, how can you refresh yourself and cope with the stress better. Maybe you need more time for yourself. Maybe you need to quit your job. Find some alternative, maybe you can go back to school and learn other skills.
Please, whatever you do, just be grateful for everything that you DO have and don't compare your life with other people.

I honestly think this is the most important blog post I have ever written. Share it with people who need to learn this lesson. I don't care about the clicks or numbers. My goals aren't sponsorship deals, I don't work with companies, I don't have ads on my blog, I blog because I love it, it's my pure joy, hobby, and passion because I like to write, photograph, cook, think and grow. And I like to share my lessons and leave a positive mark on this world.

2 komentarja

  1. You are the most amazing person I have ever met.You have grown so much and I am so happy that I am on this whole journey with you. A beautiful post miska ☺

    1. OOhhh honey! Your first ever comment on my blog =). Thank you Panda, love you dearly, Xs


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